Really gotta finish up this study quick, but since I am catching the vibe. Might as well just write something.
I really don't know why am I writing something bout marriage when me myself realize that I am a hopeless romantic. I mean I never think it'll work. It has to take someone special, someone that understands me to be with me.
Straying away from all the passionate post and lets expand on this thought. Never really thought about it but let's go? So the reason why I kind of stop engaging into relationships is because I don’t want to lose relationships. I could love this person so much but not show any affection. Low key, High key, Medium key, I am pretty good at that. Yeah essentially, I don’t want to commit into something before I am ready to be fully committed because once it starts it doesn’t stop for me and I really want a long-term relationship, something that can lead to marriage.
What I look in a girl that I would marry? Essentially, I need a person that can tell me that I did something wrong, someone that loves and truly cares about me. But then thinking about it. These types of relationship take years to build up and in terms of my resume. I am pretty bad at dating. To start counting my flaws, I don’t enjoy buying flowers, I am not “that” romantic, I speak my thoughts and yeah, I used to be immature.
I mean COME ON, flowers? Why can’t girls like watches or bracelet, I mean I can get that. Asking myself, do you have a secret crush? I mean yeah? I am not gay? Of course I fancy people but then I chose not to do anything or taking it to the next step because at least right now I really could not see a future (marriage) unless she and I are cool with studies & future before love.
I guess this is what happens when I tend to calculate every single step of my life perfectly and not being good at relationships restrict me from going there because I don’t want to end up losing friendships. Man! How do people date for 3 years, I can’t even last for a year? Can I just get “the one girl” and just end up marrying her? I don’t even know where this is going. There is no structure, but I don’t care. I swear the cutest thing I missed about having a relationship is holding hands lol.
Speaking about breaking up, the reason I hate getting into relationships is because I absolutely hated break-ups. It damages you mentally and I remember thinking about the one girl, being sad and cry for that girl because of a break-up. It really affects studies, and even everyday interaction.
Hypothetically, do I want to get a girlfriend now? I mean Ladies, and my future kid, listen. For me to be off the market and wait until graduation is a sense of responsibility. I acknowledge my flaws and my lack of commitment in “dating”; hence why I chose not to date. Because I am being thoughtful everyone between us. I mean to be quite honest, I look quite good, I got a good sense of fashion & I can socialize. It is really not that hard if I try to get a girlfriend. But to get a wife, that’s hard. Okay time to study!
