There are some moments that I am proud of and a lot of moments back then that I am really disappointed of myself.
Going back to what happened back in my country, what I am grateful of myself right now is being a man with independent thoughts. My mum and I had a great relationship, she would teach me lessons in life, accompanying me deep in the night during studies and sign me up for multiple tuition. However, as a loser like I was, I took everything for granted. Did not tell this to anyone, so if you're reading this. Congratulations, you know everything about me.
Back to the topic, I was never worried about not studying, not having the friends I wanted to make and getting bullied constantly. I guess this is the privilege that I never really thought about in my teenage years. Back then I literally get to own everything I want, clothes, money, new phone, new laptop, anything! Because my mum really does love me and she hope it will encourage me into getting back on track, being happy and doing well on academics.
Well, not sure about the sort of mind I had back then, but I literally adopt all the bad habits, bad students possess, going on my phone in every tuition, pretending that I was studying when my mum was studying with me and also just “talking to girls” being the casual player. I am really disappointed of myself back then. Thinking back, it was a total waste of time. I am smart, and I have the potential. But I wasted 5 years of my high school years being a loser. Looking back, coming here changed my life. I have the privilege, the second opportunity to turn the train around, starting a new life around people that I wanted to be with. Till this very day, I remembered the lies I told my mum and the lies I made to myself. I was literally destined to be a loser but, this changed me somehow.
You might wonder, what make me change? What is the driving force? I think the main driving force to the change and getting fed up. I don’t want to be treated the way that I was treated. I need to unleash the true me and start getting rid of my weak self. Right now success is the only goal that I am pursuing for. I believe this is an awesome chapter of my life. I am willing to take this and see what’s next.
Being a Dad in the future, I do not want my kids to repeat the mistakes that I made. Regardless of male or female. I want to make my family the best version of themselves. Now I got to study for my exams. Signing off.
P.s Whoever that read my blog, you literally know everything about me. Personally, I do not enjoy it when people know everything about me. But you know, this is the platform I made to inspire my kids in the future. Letting them know that life ain’t easy and if their Dad can make it, they can do it.
